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Dear Members of Haryana Administration,

I am a male resident of Gurgaon writing to you on behalf of many (not all) of my male colleagues and friends.

I am disappointed in the order passed by you to ban women from working “late at night” (8 p.m.). Of course I perfectly appreciate and applaud your rationale behind it – women today have been getting quite out of hand. What with the excessive focus on education and this unbecoming competitiveness – some of them have even made it into space! Talk about being out of this world. Not to mention how they have been effectively taking over senior positions in organizations. I am not one of those who resent women getting ahead. In fact I am quite liberal and have nothing against women working. Just that they should remember that home and virtue come first, and they must act and dress ‘decently’. It is too much when even my domestic help today boasts how she is the one supporting her family on her own income instead of her useless brother. Disgusting state of affairs! Of course everyone is aware the reason behind all this is to catch a ‘good husband’ – or at the very least, get raped maybe. Thats all a woman dreams of, you and I know that. But although they so obviously deserve to be shut up where they cant harm the morality of our youth, I have a problem with this 8 p.m. thingy.

My issue, which I want to respectfully present, is that currently the sunset timing is around 6.30 p.m. As you are well aware, all rapes/molestations/eve-teasing (or you can just bracket them together as WWW – What Women Want) occur only after dark – and this leaves a full 1 and a half hours free for wanton pillage. Since you have started a good thing, I would request you not to leave it incomplete and ensure that the ban is imposed right from sunset. It would also give your staff a bit of extra much-needed rest after a ‘long’ ‘hard’ day spent in getting their ‘hands’ dirty. If they find themselves with too much (time) on their ‘hands’ (since naturally we will have ended WWW for good), they can be redeployed to act as sentries to prosecute any woman caught on the road right after sunset and unable to make it home in time. These measures should prove effective in curbing the ‘problem’.

Another alternative suggested by some, could be to ensure all men are indoors by 8 p.m. to keep women safe from their lustful attacks. Laughable, I know, but just thought I’ll give you a heads up that more and more people are starting to think this way these days. Weird and unnatural.

Hope you keep up the good work…reminds me of a line from an ancient nursery rhyme ( yes a woman taught it to me as a kid…ironic dont you think?)

“Wee Willie Winkie runs through the town,
Upstairs and downstairs in his nightgown,
Rapping at the window, crying through the lock,
“Are the children all in bed, for now it’s eight o’clock?”